Things I'm not Allowed do at Camp HalfBlood
by AToastToBread
Summary: Things I'm not allowed do at Camp Half-Blood. Pretty Self-Explanatory, Going up to 101
1. The Beginning 1-66

**Not Summary: Ahem this was written with the help of my enemy Xover Queen (and posted with the hel of Xover Queen) Yes that was written by her because she thinks I'm a moron (because she is**

**I am not a moron and a very Happy New Year to my fellow hyper morons.**

**I am not doing a disclaimer for I want to see what would happen if I didn't ,see if I dont I might be brought to !**_Things I am not allowed do at Camp-HalfBlood_

* * *

1.I am not allowed ride Chiron and call him Aslan.

2.I am not allowed run through camp screaming _"FOR NARNIA!" _

Whilst wielding a ball point pen at random Ares cabin members.

3. No ball point pen of mine turns into a sword

4. No getting "Cheap Liquor" from the Dionysus Cabin

5. No accepting anything in general from the Dionysus Cabin.

6.I am not a God or a Gob._[That's Dyslexia for you]_

7.I am not allowed order mortal pizza then laugh at them while they try to get through the barrier.

8.I am not allowed feed the Wood Nymphs GroFast.

9. No pretending Mrs.O'Leary is Fluffy from _Harry Potter_

_10 No _setting spiders loose in the Athena Cabin _[I am not allowed do that? D:]_

11. No mentioning the word Percabeth

12.I am not the reincarnation of Hercules ...Or Herculesa no matter how convinced I am or Awesome I would be.

13.I am not allowed shout _"FOOD FIGHT!"_In the Dining Hall even if I am convinced it would be a great new way to offer the Gods food.

14.I am not allowed give Dionysus Alcohol-Free wine. Ever. If that situation ever came up it would be a good idea to duck

15.I'm not allowed swap the Hephaestus tools for Lego, even if they they come in pretty colors.

16.I am not allowed to spray the Demeter cabin with Weed-Killer when their mad

17. Percy is not Ariel from the Disney movie.

18. No Sour-Worm Fights

19. No Replacing the Weapons,FULL STOP.

20. No singing under the influence of anything from the Dionysus cabin...Or the Hermes Cabin, Or any cabin for that matter... Who knows what the Aphrodite Cabin drink...

21. Chuck Norris is not a God even if the weirdly named _"Percy Jackson"_ website says so.

22. No dance offs are permitted. A dance-off is not a duel even if it is to _Eye of The Tiger_ or _Kung Fu Fighting_

23. I am not allowed introduce _Mythbusters_ to the Hephaestus cabin.

24.I am not allowed to preform _Twilight:The_ _Musical._

25. Truth or Dare shall never be played on Camp Half-Blood property, ever again.

26. I am not allowed leave the camp to go to any Night Club in New York

27. Nor I am not allowed start a Night Club at Camp.

28. The Demeter Cabin are not hippies they are just happy that's all.

29. There is no Godly Sorting Hat therefore it is unacceptable to place ugly hats on newbies especially if its a child of Aphrodite's where the result is generally harmful ...for you.

30.I do not have a cult so I cannot preform human sacrifices.

31.I am not allowed breed magical creatures.

32.I am not allowed ask Nico to make me an army of the dead even if he owes me a favor

_[Nico:I DON'T!_

_Me:LIES, SHUTUP!]_

33. The saying _"Fight Fire with Fire" _shouldn't be taken literally .Ever.

34. Clarisse does not appreciate receiving _"Free Hug"_ coupons on her birthday or any other day.

35.I am not allowed set up blind dates or arranged marriages for anyone.

all Athena children are OCD.

37.I can not cook, enough said.

38. No more you tube. ***Cries***

39. I shall not start anymore prank wars ***Cries Harder***

40.I am not allowed swap Thalia's Rock music with _Hannah Montannah_ and _High School Musical._

41. The camp does not need a hot-tub so I must stop bothering Percy about getting his Dad to hook us up with _"Da Bestest Tub Eva!"_

42. I am not allowed ask the Apollo cabin to recite poetry.

43. No more flirting with the Hunters of Artemis especially if your a girl.

44. I am not allowed refer to Zeus as "_Da Man_" or _"Sparky"_

45. Mistletoe is BANNED.

46. I am not allowed sneak into Poseidon cabin and permanent marker _"Aqua Man"_ on Percy.

47. I am not allowed walk into Olympus and demand sweets on Halloween.

48. I am not allowed give human sacrifices to the Gods. Or sacrifices on general.

49. No more blasting _Ke$ha_ around camp.

50. I more Innuendos about any Cabin and what they got last night...We all know who got what...

to the popular song _"Stacys Mom"_ I am not allowed substitute Stacy for Annabeth no matter how true or not true it is.

52. Taylor Lautner is not a son of Aphrodite's, Logan Lerman on the other hand is completely different matter.

53. The world is not going to end on the 21st of December on 2012.

54. I am not allowed ask Nico to raise Michael Jackson from dead for my personal enjoyment.

55. Demi Lovato is not a Demi-God. Her name is just a coincidence.

56. Toilets are not toys therefore you don't play with them.

57. The rules are not made to be broken.

58. I am not allowed start any Riots, Rebellions, Wars or Dance Party's.

60.I am not the camp's resident doctor therefore cannot diagnose people as pregnant.

61. No Hermes cabin member shall be head of the Camp newsletter .Ever Again.

62. I have no musical talents.

63. There is no _"Pimp my Pegasus"_ ….

64. Percy is not the host of _"Pimp my Pegasus"_ …

A/N If I get a good reaction I'll continue to a 100. R&R :D


	2. The Middle 66-101 sort of

_AN: Hi! Long time no update, sorry. Thinking about doing one more chapter where you see who the list is directed at and their reaction but I'll only do it for reviews! So Review, please!_

_Things I'm Not Allowed Do At Camp Half-Blood_

66. No Ding Dong Ditching Olympus

67.I am not allowed say anymore of my:

"_Why did the Demi-God Cross the Road" _Jokes

68. Clarisse is not growing facial hair and it is wrong for me to advertise her as the "_The Bearded Lady"_

_ rule has been censored for the sake of your Innocence [what innocence ?]_

70. There is no Camp Half-Blood Glee Club

71. Nico is not Nicolicious.

72."Little People" are not out to get me

73.I am not allowed setup a rock/heavy metal band made up of Satyrs and Wood Nymphs

74. We are not called *$% &* £ !

Skinny Dipping I don't care if theres a so-and-so chance that I'll end up butt naked on a Quest, No Skinny Dipping.

76. No more Diet Coke and Mento experiments. Especially in the Aphrodite Cabin Bathroom.

77.I am not allowed set up an Animal Rescue Center in the Ares Cabin.

more "_Percy and Annabeth Sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G_

_First comes Love, Second comes Marriage,_

_Then comes the Demi-God in the carriage"_

It's totally cliché by now.

79. Red Bull does NOT give you wings and you are not part of The Flock.

more reenactments of the Moulin Rouge

81.I am not allowed host Birthday Partys in the Underworld.

reading Annabeth's Diary aloud at the dining hall ESPECIALLEY the "Lemon-y" parts. [_Annabeth: THEIR NOT LEMONS!_

_Me: Tell that to the mentally scarred children!]_

83. No more Percabeth lemon fanfiction.

_[Me: Its not Fiction!]_

84. Nico is Emo.

_[Nico: I hate you.]_

_85.I forgot this one...Oops_

86. No bugging Clarisse about going to Candy Mountain.

87. No bugging Nico about going to Candy Mountain.

88. Candy Mountain doesn't exist *Cries*

going up randomly kissing Nico, The excuse

"_I'm only trying to release his inner-slut"_

does not work.

90. I must stop sneaking around camp humming the theme song to Mission Impossible.

dressing up a certain Son of Hades up as a french maid

[Nico: I hate you.]

92. We are not learning about Male Anatomy in Archery Class.

Or Centaur Anatomy...

93. NO STRIP CLUBS!

94. No more *Ahem*

Coming of The Mary-Sues,

Mary-Sue Revoultions,

Good Grief more Mary-Sues,

Miss Mary-Sues,

When Mary-Sue met Gary-Stus,

What I'm trying to say is, ENOUGH WITH THE MARY-SUES!

93. NO BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL

teasing the fangirls by faking slash couples, I'm talking to you Connor and Travis Stoll no more homosexual comments directed at your twin. It exites the Children of Aphrodite as well as fangirls.

more Harry Potter References this includes:

Percy-Harry

Annabeth-Hermione

Grover-Ron

Connor+Travis-Fred+George

Clarisse-Draco [Think of the Dramione]

Silena-Cho

Luke- Cedric

101. Under No Circumstances can this List be Posted Online.

_AN: Sorry if there is any spelling mistakes I'm in a hell of a rush. Please tell me if you like it!_

_UPDATE:I appear to have skipped a few... Im going to update soon any ways._


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